Happy 29th!

What a wonderful birthday I had, made especially great by having Emily to celebrate with us. It started with sleeping in and delicious breakfast in bed by my wonderful husband. He has modified my family's tradition a bit by providing breakfast to not only the birthday person, but all the children celebrating with the birthday person, so that poor person doesn't have all their favorite breakfast food eaten off the tray by those celebrating with them. He wasn't so sure about this tradition when we first got married (crumbs in the bed, who has an appetite immediately upon being woken, the sharing aspect, etc.) but I think it's growing on him and he is very good at it! It's one of my faovirte traditions -thanks Mom and Dad!

We had a birthday lunch at Aunt Sandy & Uncle Art's house in Littleton, complete with my favorite salad and a cake she had made me! Emily gave me the most wonderful gift...a book of John's mission journal entries about me, our family, service, temples, etc. in his handwriting with a picture next to each one. I couldn't stop crying when I opened it and I read it almost daily. Then Em and I dragged ourselves to the gym almost falling asleep on the way there, but feeling sooo good when we left. We then came home to a yummy ice cream cake from Steve and lots of presents and cards from many friends and family. One of my favorite gifts from Steve are the Southwest giftcards for John Jr's birth! We topped off the day with a visit to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner - YUM - and came home to a spotless house thanks to our wonderful babysitter Rachel! Who could ask for a better birthday?!

Hero #3

Tonia & Andre

The night John went missing Steve and I were heartbroken Emily was in Florida without family. But she was certainly not alone. She went over to Tonia & Andre's house and stayed all night. These were some of John and Emily's dearest friends who we met when we visited in Novemeber. I not only love them for what they did for us in Florida, but especially for the good friends they were to John and Em. John adored their little girls and the girls felt the same love toward John. These were the people Emily turned to when her world was sent into a tailspin. She stayed with them all Friday night, and the morning of the accident Tonia had the unspeakably difficult job of taking Em to the accident scene. It was Tonia I talked to on Saturday morning and I will never forget Emily's cries of anguish in the background. How I wanted to wrap my arms around her and take some of the pain away, but I was miles away. I'll never forget my gratitude for Tonia at that time, knowing Emily was with people who loved her and wanted to find John as bad as she did.

They continued to show the same love towards us the entire week we were there. When Andre offered to help in any way, I doubt he thought it would include driving us to the ER at 3:00 in the morning when I couldn't sleep and then assuring me I was strong enough to tell my story just one more time to a medical professional in that early morning fight to get help sleeping. Andre spoke so wonderfully of the John he knew at the memorial service and the funeral- the John who loved his wife, who loved children, and who would have been the most wonderful father. Our entire family was thrilled to hear they were flying to UT to be at the funeral with us.

I watched the news report of the moment they found John's body (as we were in the middle of a volunteer search effort with news cameras rolling) with some hesitancy as one of my most devastating moments was being recorded by news stations. My fear subsided when the first face I saw was Tonia's, wearing the shock we all felt, wiping tears as if she had lost her own brother, truly "mourning with those who mourn." I am forever grateful for that footage of our dear friend that made me realize I had an entire nation of friends and family mourning the loss with us.

Tonia threw a baby shower the night of the memorial service, with about 48 hour notice :). She and Andre gave Emily and John Jr books that reminded them of his daddy. When I saw they had given Shell Silverstien's "The Giving Tree" my heart was touched as I knew they knew my John. They said John taught them about serving and how to serve.

In the military you can be blessed to find friends and become as close to them as your family, as you are often states, even countries away from family. These friends knew John less than a year, yet they will always be family to us for the love, friendship and kindness they gave our family and especially our dear John and Emily.

Happy 4th of July!

The 4th has always been one of my favorite holidays. This one was certainly bittersweet for me without our patriot John. His love of country above self will always inspire me. We were so glad to have Emily here to share the day with us. We started the day at our Ward breakfast.


That afternoon Kevin and Sue Fink had us over for a BBQ with their kids and our dear friends Val &Taylor and Heather & Tyson. It was good to be surrounded by people who loved John on a day that reminds me so much of him.



Kevin took Trenton on his first four-wheeler ride. He enjoyed the first part of it...


But decided he'd rather just run behind the four-wheeler on the way back.


My favorite part of the day was going onto the Air Force Academy to watch the fireworks. This was John's home for almost 10 years and I really felt close to him that night being where he'd spent much of his life and where we had made countless memories. We grew up together on this base, with patriotism and gratitude for our country instilled in us by our parents, so it was fitting to spend this holiday there.

We watched the fireworks with (from left:) Tyson, Heather, Me, Blake, Steve, Emily, Val, Sue, and Taylor (taking the picture) Trenton & Kali (sleeping in the car). We just sat and held each other and talked after the fireworks. No one wanted the moment to end.