Summer 2012

 I wanted to recap the Summer of 2012 before Christmas arrives :).  It was a monumental summer with lots of activities, family, serving and fun. It deserves to be documented!

New Additions

The summer started with a wise, thoughtful super dad moving heaven and earth (literally) to bring a couple additions to our backyard.  He has talked about utilizing the upward slope of our backyard putting a zipline in the backyard.  He spent HOURS digging holes, pouring cement, ordering zipline parts and working his magic to install a zipline across the backyard.  It was a hit and has made our backyard a haven for the neighborhood kids.  So far the biggest injury is a tooth getting knocked out that was due to come out anyway.  We have yet to receive a letter from the HOA, but I watch for one every time I check the mail.  So far, so good.

We have also talked about getting a play-set for years and have been watching Craigslist.  Steve finally found one that looked sturdy and fun, at an incredible price.  We enlisted the help of good friends and home teachers and anyone who offered (or accepted our plea for help) to disassemble this bad boy, transport it and reassemble it.  Whew, what a project! We spent days sanding it as a family before we reassembled it. For the month of July we asked our visiting teachers and home teachers if their visits could include assistance in staining it - thank goodness for their help.  It has been wonderful this summer.  The kids have not tired of it - they love the picnic table, the clubhouse on top and the monkey bars.

 Pinewood Derby

Trenton participated in his first Pinewood Derby.  Steve was great about researching tips and methods of building the car and Trenton was right by his side, sanding, painting, nailing and spinning.  It was a team effort that paid off with a second place finish - first missed only by .002 seconds.  So close!  But Trenton has his trophy proudly displayed and we had a great time.

  

Luke & Mary's Visit and the Hailstorm of the Century

Luke had some business in CO and much to our delight Mary and Max came along for the trip.  How we love this family!!!  Siblings are the best.  The night they drove in happened to be the night our first ever Legend Ward RS Activity that I was in charge of. About 30 minutes before the activity was to start, a storm started that quickly turned from heavy rain to marble, then golf ball sized hail.  It stopped right as the activity was starting as it usually does, but then started again with a vengeance, accompanied by a Tornado Warning.  At this point we had a good 25 sisters and were being instructed to go home d/t the Tornado warning.  We walked out to look outside and it became very apparent that no one was going anywhere.  The little creek with a walking path had a 30 foot high river flooding through it.  The river almost was overflowing into the parking lot - it is a sight I will never forget.  Most of the older ladies just laughed, firmly planted their feet down and said I'm not going anywhere!  So there we sat - quilting, eating crepes and trying to stay in touch with our families as they were losing power and being pummeled by the storm.  Luckily Luke and Mary drove safely into the garage right as the storm started so they sat it out with our children which allowed Steve to go to his Home Teaching family's house (5 kids all alone) while their Mom was stuck at our activity.  

What a night.  

To make a long story short we (along with a majority of Parker) suffered major damage on our car that was at the church ($5,000 worth), our rental home ($13,000 worth), our home ($18,000 worth).  This has led to hours figuring out insurance, claims, repairs, new roofs, decks, paint jobs, etc.  Thank goodness for good insurance coverage.  Between the damage and the high gas prices it also led us to sell the Denali on Craigslist (once again Steve's magic, we got a very good price for it) and purchase our first minivan - a Honda Odessy.  I miss the space in the Denali, especially the trunk, but it is so much nicer on our pocketbooks.  And compared to the Denali, driving the Oddessy feels like driving a sports car.  It just zips around.  It really was the best choice.

So started a very fun week with Luke and Mary.  We loved up on the Max & celebrated his b-day just a bit early, BBQ'd, went to our favorite summer discovery - a free outdoor waterpark/playground, and went to the Parker Days Fair.  We really keep trying to convince them to move to CO.  

Did I mention we adore them?

 

 Youth Conference

The timing worked out so that Mary & Max were able to stay another couple of days and watch the kiddos so that Steve and I could drive up to Lake Wellington and speak at Youth Conference.  The Billats asked us to speak back in Feb and we were happy to.  We love teaching the youth - they are stellar kids.  Our topic was Be True to Yourself & Be True to Others.  We were able to speak with this stunning lake as our backdrop.  As we were preparing, Mary helped us find some great object lessons.  When any of the youth thanked us afterwards for our talks, the thing that was brought up the most were the object lessons.  I'm not sure they remembered a thing we said, but those object lessons were a HIT.

 

 Girls Camp

Last December I got a phone call from a High-Councilman asking to meet with me.  I started to panic thinking it was a call to teach Early Morning Seminary and when he came over and asked if I would be the nurse for Girls Camp I was so relieved I about jumped out of my seat with a resounding yes!  What better thing to do - I love the outdoors, love being a nurse and love the youth.  Perfect combination.  As we closed the door behind him I turned to Steve, realizing I had missed something in my relief, and said "Oh wait.  I might still be nursing Cameron.  Probably will be nursing Cameron."  I called the Camp Director and in her wisdom suggest we call someone to split the week.  Rebecca Sherman was called and we prepared together for the week.  We were a brand new stake, so we had to build our supply list from the ground up.  We were both nervous that something would happen beyond our scope of practice, but we were comforted knowing the Camp Director had been a camp nurse for years.  The Stake Priesthood Leadership almost didn't let me go since I was still nursing and at one camp meeting President Ure turned to me and said "How will you do this?"  I didn't think he wanted all the details, so I tried to discreetly explain I had a great pump, my baby takes a bottle and there was a freezer at camp :).  They let me go.

It was a blast.  I got to know some of the girls so well who hung around my tent with me.  I offered Steve's Oralabs Samples each time they brought me an empty water bottle to try to keep the girls hydrated and I must say I thought it worked very well.  We hardly had any issues with dehydration.  We had a bear sighting in camp, strep throat, a couple of asthma issues (that one was a bit scary) and lots of headaches, bumps and bruises, but the excitement ended there.  I loved getting to know the leaders on the Stake Level and was very grateful to have the experience.

Science Camp

The week of Girls Camp I enrolled Trenton in a camp called Science Rocks with his friend Hayden Sherman.  It was 3 hours a day for 5 days for only $100.  They did some pretty great experiments, brought home a lot of new vocabulary & understanding and seemed to have a blast.  It was good to break up the summer a bit for big-brother-patient-with-his-younger-siblings Trenton, too.

We'll be doing it every summer. 

The Hughes

I was so touched that my college roommate Jeanette and her husband Zack and their precious baby Zander (just a few months younger than Cameron) drove down from Ft Collins to see us while visiting Zack's family.  We had a great time catching up.  I am in awe of how much I love the children of these college roommates of mine who I loved and learned from (and still do) for the years we lived together in college.  Each child is a miracle, but my heart does a special jump for those children of my wonderful roommates.  I love seeing a piece of them in their children and watching them as mothers.  I just adore this girl.

 

 4th of July in Lander

There is nothing like a small town 4th of July.  When you combine it with a family reunion it becomes awesome.  We drove out to Lander the afternoon of the Hughes visit, and arrived at a very excited Aunt Deb's home.  I should add here neither one of my aunts were able to have children (Aunt Deb adopted my cousin Courtney) so I have been blessed to feel love, support and encouragement from those two as second mothers.  I love talking with them, they remember EVERY birthday, holiday and anniversary in our lives and they are just wonderful.  

We had a great week eating, playing games, going to the park, fishing, hiking, watching the wonderful 4th of July Parade, getting sprayed by the fire trucks, swimming and did I mention eating?  We also celebrated every summer birthday, including mine and Mary's on the 7th (more on my favorite gift EVER later).  It was so good to be with  Great-Grandpa Poljanec.  How blessed we all feel to have him and his wisdom with us.  Cameron was just happy to have his walker to waddle around with all week :).

 

 As a little follow up, poor Aunt Deb caught a cold the last couple days we were there (possibly from all the late nights and early mornings!), it spread to her eye, she rubbed of a layer, lost her vision, had to have surgery, missed a bunch of work, and is just gaining her sight back.  

Oh lands - the lot of us did her in!

 Laramie Stop

 On the way home from Lander we asked Grandma if we could stop in and spend a day with her.  We celebrated her birthday a few days early.  We picked up dinner and a chocolate birthday pie and spent a delightful day in her wonderful home as always.

 Across the street from Grandma's house is Laramie High School.  It was set up as a central command center for the firefighters fighting the wildfires in WY.  We were all impressed and enthralled with the comings and goings of the men and women fighting the fires.  The pulled up in busses covered in soot and ashes, use the restroom, shower in the high school, then sleep in shifts in these tents.  No easy life I say.  I've always felt gratitude for the firefighters, but seeing it live certainly made it more real.

 Family Fun & Cousins

As we mapped out the summer I realized things wouldn't calm down until about mid July, which left us 3 weeks before school started to relax and enjoy the summer :).  We decided to go to Water World here in Denver for the first time in years and had a delightful time.  We were able to juggle rides and baby Cameron pretty well, and took him on all the ones we could.  He clung to me during the Pharaoh ride while going through the cave - it was the first time I've seen him really scared of something.  He enjoyed the other rides, and especially the splash park and slides made for kiddos just his size.  My little 12 month old would crawl as fast as he could up the stairs to the top of the slide, climb on mama's lap and clench his little fist in sheer delight as we went down.  It was so precious.  We had a BLAST and will definitely make it a summer tradition. 

 

We had our cousins, Christi and Lyndi, out the last week before school started and knocked off a few things on our summer list.  It was fun, busy and exhausting all at once.  I was amazed what adding two extra children does to the dynamics in the home. We went to the zoo, went to the pool, did Casa Bonita, played at the water park and spent lots of time on the zipline.  It was all worth it when I asked Kali what her favorite part of the summer was and she said "when my cousins stayed at our house."  Poor little Christi got sick with 2 days left and spiked a fever the next day.  We spent lots of time talking to Aunt Tina, hydrating, giving Tylenol and debating what it could be.  Tina took her in when she got home and it was a UTI and strep.  Poor little thing - to be so sick away from home! We gave her lots of TLC, but it's just not the same as home.  She was a trooper and wanted to come to everything - we brought pillows & blankets and the poor little thing spent a day and 1/2 in the double stroller with Cameron (as pictured below at Casa Bonita).

 

I bid farewell to summer, digging my heels in.  The end of summer is always bittersweet - we're ready for routine and structure, but not ready for alarms and homework :).  Which is why amidst the work, arguments, "I'm bored"'s, and lack of down time, I tried to just enjoy every moment.

Precious Cameron

 Our precious little Cameron turned one this summer.  I cannot believe it has been over a year that his little spirit has graced our home.  I have so enjoyed every moment of this baby's life.  I have taken time to soak in every smell, giggle, kiss, snuggle, grin, tear, first and last.  He has been an easy going baby, so very loving and just wonderful in every way.  I tried to press the pause button on his growing up because I have so adored every moment of his babyhood.  I know there are many other wonderful moments ahead of us, but I honestly felt like crying all day on his first birthday knowing that his babyhood was over.  It's been heaven on earth to have this little baby to love.

His birthday started with breakfast in bed provided by big sister Kali.  She brought up a bottle of water, applesauce and goldfish snacks.

That evening we celebrated by inviting our family away from family over for dinner and birthday cake - the Norris's, Walker's and Willis's.  I wanted to be surrounded by the people we loved on this day and stay busy.  Really - I felt like I was bidding farewell to his babyhood.

He had no desire to touch the cake and when he finally did with some encouragement from Katie and Kali he just wanted to get that sticky frosting off of his fingers!  He may have never tasted the cake if Katie hadn't fed him a bite.  Once he got a taste he enjoyed quite a few more bites.

A few things about Cameron's first year:

*He hit his milestones right on time.  He started smiling at 4 weeks, sitting up at 5 months, crawling at 8 months and surprised me by walking at 12 months.  Both of my boys walked at 14 months, so I thought he'd be a bit later, but having a couple of fun push toys to push around the house (and more space to actually practice walking) got him walking a bit quicker I think.  Not to mention 3 older siblings that are just too fun to not keep up with.

*He was sleeping through the night at 9 months, once we moved him out of our closet into his room (after Aunt Anna went to school) and now sleeps 13 hours every night.  Would he have slept through the night earlier if he'd been in his own room?  I'm pretty sure he would have.  Or we just wouldn't have heard him.  Never mind that Steve discovered the monitor was off after his second night in his own room.  Whoops - that might have done it!  Although his brothers and sisters who sleep close to his room definitely hear him if he cries.  So I like to think he was sleeping all through the night.  I was a new person when I started getting 6-8 hours of sleep in a row.  It had been almost a year since that had happened.  Remembering the exhaustion makes me shudder. Angel baby.  He likes to go down with a story, a Primary song and his pacifier.

*He is almost 15 months right now and we are still nursing (just 2x a day) due to his milk protein allergy.  I am also soooo sad that is coming to an end.  When he was diagnosed at 5 months, the thought of making it to a year overwhelmed me.  I can't believe we have made it 15 months.  Nursing has gone really well.  He's a champ at going back and forth to the bottle with work, Girls Camp, Youth Conference, callings....miracle we've made it this long.  He's taking Almond Milk with a bit of Canola Oil (to make up for the fat in whole milk he would need for brain development) 2x a day & eating protein every meal and will go to that exclusively when nursing is over until 18 months when he can try whole milk without a risk of going into shock.

* His first word was "dog" (gog-dog-gog-dog) followed by "da-da" "ma-ma"& "hot".

*He understands so much and is quick to obey - close the door, fold your arms, put this in the trash.  I love it.

*He was fascinated with his hands - ANY hands - as a baby.  He would stare, turn his hands back and forth slowly and just watch and watch.  My hand slowly closing and opening was better than any rattle.  Popping fingers up and down kept him enthralled for minutes at a time.

*He adores his siblings.  He still seems to find the most fun & humor with Blake, trust and learning with Trenton and nurturing & consoling with Kali.  We love watching them interact.

*He was also enthralled with my iPhone - he could swipe it on and off with his thumb at 9 months.  I am happy to say he has lost interest in the iPhone since Steve put a lock with a password on it.

*His favorite foods are mandarin oranges, green beans, bananas, eggs,  broccoli-cheese-soup...he's a really good eater.

* I am so happy and excited to see him every morning.  I love him so deeply it hurts sometimes. We are forever grateful to have this little spirit in our home!

Blake's 4th Birthday

I can't believe I am posting about Blake's Jan birthday in June - but there is so much I want to remember about this little charmer it must be done!  The day started with breakfast in bed, of course.  I love his little toe poking out of his jammies.

He wanted a space birthday party, which was so fun and easy to plan (especially compared to Egypt last fall for Trenton - that was something else).  Here is the crew all ready to go!  Cameron's astronaut outfit from Halloween still fit, so he was our little mascot.

The kids and I made all the different planets on paper plates, and when the "astronauts arrived" they got their space packs and began astronaut training.  I made these out of cereal boxes and duct tape.

Oh man we love this little Cameron!

A few things about our 4 year old Blake:

*He is the loudest child I have ever met.  In the past month, I had 3 friends ask me if we have had his hearing tested.  We have, but we will do it again.  He only knows one volume and that is loud, SO very loud.

*He is also the fastest child I know.  He runs everywhere he can, include away from us as fast as he can when he is in trouble.  Which is more often than my other 3 children combined.  I keep telling myself after a long day of chasing him all over the house/store/neighborhood, someday I will watch him on some athletic field and be proud, very proud.  But right now he exhausts me.

*He is incredibly street smart.  He can make a friend, charm anyone, manipulate a situation, sneak a treat like I've never seen.  One of my favorite looks is his little wink, smile and nod.  Then a triple eyebrow raise.  Watch out world.  One morning Anna came down and couldn't find her keys.  We questioned all the kids, called a locksmith, AAA, searched high and low, gave her rides....no keys.  Finally one day Steve checked in between the BACK seats of the Honda and there they were.  Blake had snuck them out there and laughed about it for days.  Three days later Steve's iPad was missing.  We check there right away and sure enough, he had hid it from Steve!  He finds people's buttons and boy does he hit it right on!

*He loves to run into the street at full speed.  Loves it.  Ever since he was walking.  He sees those double doors at Walmart (Target, church, you name it) open and he dashes full speed ahead.  Hence, he is the first child I have purchased a leash for.  We call it his 'special' backpack.

*This is the year his little feelings started to get hurt when we called him "The Master of Disaster" (the name Trenton's Kindergarten class gave him when he was 2, which is actually quite fitting).  His little eyes would well up with tears and his chin quivered, so I put a quick stop to that nickname.  Even though he fits it so very well.

*He is so sensitive and loves so deeply.  He is the first one who RACES into Daddy's arms when he comes home from work and throws his arms around his neck so tightly.  Over this past year he has had to have & give a "Kissing Hand" at every separation.  And he watches you when you walk away saying, "Don't drop it!  Did you drop it?!"  He also does this little thing Anna taught him - blowing a kiss with one finger...lots of them :).  So precious.  He loves to be rocked, held and snuggled.  He is also our little guy who will start crying if he sees anyone else crying.  He is so sensitive.

*He is a most loyal friend - in preschool I got many a phone call that biggest issue with Blake was that he wouldn't play with/sit by/include friends unless it was/included William.  Oh how he loves that little William.

*He has to know the plan for every day.  And have it repeated about 10 times.  It is unwise to tell him about an event ahead of time, unless you want to describe it 200 times in the 2 days leading up to it :)

I can't wait to watch this little guy develop - if I can channel all this energy, love, smarts and speed the right way.  He'll do great things!!!!

Kali's 6th Birthday

Catching up on the kiddos birthdays...

Kali turned 6 the day after we got back from Hawaii, December 31st.  The day started with the beloved breakfast in bed and we did a little family party that night.  The next Saturday was her birthday party - we chose an Aloha theme after our recent adventure!  Kali chose some party favors in Hawaii and we mailed out the invites on Postcards from Hawaii. The party was a blast!

 She asked for a waterfall cake - it reminded us of the beautiful clear water waterfalls we had swam in while in Hawaii.  Ahhh....good memories.

 Once again we were spoiled to have Anna assisting with the festivities.  The whole family pulled out our Aloha wear, handmade leis we received from our dear Hawaii friends, and even a little Aloha bib for Cameron we had gotten for Trenton after he was born in Honolulu.

 We were very excited to find an (affordable!) Rainbow Fish Pinata - she swam with a Rainbow fish while snorkeling the week before!  Man they are beautiful fish.  Steve headed put the pinata fun and helped immensely the entire party. They also played Pass the Coconut, Musical Beach Towels, and learned a hula dance (The Hukilau, of course).

 Some of her best buddies from school, church and the neighborhood.

 Ironically it snowed all day long the day of Aloha Party :).

Oh, how we love this Kali girl.  A few things about our little six year old:

*She stills prefers skirts over pants most days.  She has worn pants to school ONCE this year, and will occasionally wear leggings, and a handful of times worn the (ONE pair) of jeans I bought her.  Other than this, she is a rough and tumble gal who keeps up with her brothers, often setting the pace!  I am SO grateful we are at a charter school with uniforms and limited choices.

*A streak of perfectionism is becoming apparent in her school work.  Her handwriting is impeccable - her teacher gave her one of three A's she gave out for handwriting this entire year.  She brought home 100%'s until her first mistake in Feb.  I was looking through her work and found one math problem she had gotten wrong earning her a 95% on the test.  She saw it and BURST into tears, so upset she had missed something on her work, "It wasn't perfect" she said, sobbing.

*That eye for detail extends to ALL things with this girl - she hears everything I say to anyone.  I'll tell her we are going to do something and she'll say "Oh ya, Mom.  I knew that.  I heard you talking about that last week."  Nothing gets by her and she will often stop a conversation to ask, "What was that?  Who are you talking about?  Why did they say that?"  Relentless is a word that comes to mind most days.

* She loves to plan.  On Sunday Steve and I will announce it's time to talk about the week and she'll raise both hands in the air, close her eyes, throw her head back and shout "Yes!!!  I just love talking about the week!"

*We are still working on her tone of voice and attitude at times.  "Try again," is a phrase that comes out of my mouth with her multiple times a day.  She can be mighty spicy.

*She knows how much her daddy adores her.  If she ever wants something from him she knows she can bargain with hugs and kisses and get whatever darn thing her little heart desires.  She is not a hugger or snuggler in general and never has been.  Family we visit asks for hugs and she just looks at them, while my boys race into their arms!  She knows that with Dad there is simply no choice - hugs are coming!

*She started her first "organized" $$ sport this year - a multi sport - and she is loving it.  We promised she could start gymnastics this year.  I haven't signed her up yet (am I ready for that?) and she asks me about it weekly.

*She has a unique ability to nurture little ones and says she wants to be a baby doctor when she grows up :).  Love it.

*And of course, she is an AMAZING helper. 

Happy Birthday my sweet girl!

Christmas in Maui

 Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were so special with all our McDonald cousins.  We held the Nativity Scene on Christmas Eve with the cast of characters determined by random drawing, gender is not factored in :).  Little Miss Kali thought life would surely not go on if she could not be Mary to the teeny tiny William, Due Dec 18th but born in Oct at 32 weeks!  With a tiny bit of guidance from William's wonderful mom Kali happened to draw Mary and her Christmas dream came true. 

 She rode the unruly donkey (played annually by Uncle Billy) and was led by Joseph JeVonne.

 Sweet Blake was King Herod

 The entire Cast and Crew - I think the little sheep were my favorite!

 Bill and Diane found a family on Maui we could be "Secret Santa" to and boy did we have fun with those gifts.  They had four children the exact ages of our children and it was wonderful to share true Christmas magic with them.

 We had a cousin gift exchange that was precious - this is Raquel thanking Trenton for her gift.  The kids were wonderfully patient as we went to church Christmas morning and opened presents when we returned.  We asked Santa to leave the big gifts at home and just deliver the stockings and he kindly obliged :).  The focus was definitely on being together - soooo much better than excess piles of toys, etc that are quickly forgotten.  I think we'll make "less is more" a tradition.

I just love this picture of William all precious in a stocking.  Little Angel.

The hospital's on my mind...

I took a 6 month leave from working at the hospital after Cameron was born and I missed it horribly.  I love that I can do what I love one day a week, and truly admire bedside nurses who manage to work full-time in the hospital for many years of their lives.  Most can't do it.  The majority of nurses spend only a few years at the bedside, then move on in their careers to management, office nursing, home health or a slew of other career options.

It is not for the weak of heart, mind, feet or back.

I give enough physically and emotionally and intellectually in 12 hours to last me a week :).  And I love going back the next week for more.  This past weekend I cared for two particularly wonderful patients, whose stories touched me so deeply.  I can usually keep my emotions in check, but I shed many a tear that day and wanted to remember how these patients touched my life. 

My first patient was an 89 year old female who was legally blind, had been battling severe back pain for years and was currently admitted with pneumonia.  She had developed pleural effusions (fluid around her lungs) that had gotten worse overnight.  The morning I had her she was breathing rapidly and her heart rate was up, a sign the effusions had grown overnight.  It took two of us and a walker and about 30 minutes just to get her out of bed, all the while in excruciating pain from her compression fractures in her back nothing could be done about.  She had a 70 year old son who stood diligently by her bedside directing each of us in every step of her care.  I'm not going to lie, although he had the best of intentions, he made my work difficult.  He was critical, suffocating and not a whole lot of help, giving us non-helpful directions and negative comments as we tried to work with his mom.  BUT...I always try to give family members the benefit of the doubt.  They are scared, often exhausted, unsure of the next step and we signed up to take care of them too.  I could tell he loved her dearly, and I hope one of my three sons will be that devoted when I am 89 in the hospital! While we developed a relationship and he learned to trust me, I focused on what his mom needed most.  She shouted out what I had been wondering - but it still took me off guard.

"Can't I just die?!"

Her son and his wife quickly hurried to her side and my eyes filled up with tears.

"Please.  Let me stop hurting and suffering.  I just want to go!"

During moments like this I walk very carefully.  I am a patient advocate first, but I am well aware the family must reach such massive decisions together, in peace, in their own time.  Her son looked at me with tears flowing and blinking my tears back, I gave a gentle nod towards his mother, trying to convey so many things to him:  "I love her too, I will help you through this, she is an amazing woman, she deserves not to suffer, you deserve to have your mother with you as long as possible, I'm honored to help, go ahead and talk with her about it, you are a wonderful son."

Over the next hour as I came in and out of the room they called and put each of her children on speaker phone as my heartstrings were pulled as I heard multiple conversations like this:

Son: "You've been a great mom."
Mom: "Well, you've been a great son honey.  I loved being your mom."
Son: "You've got our blessing mom to go ahead and stop fighting and be comfortable and let go.  I love you Mom."

As the day went on I spoke quietly with the family, informed doctors, coordinated hospice, gave medication to pull the fluid off her lungs for comfort, and discontinued any further medical interventions.  To prevent bedsores we still needed to turn and bathe her, which at first she protested, but with my promise that her comfort was my priority, she allowed us to do so.  I put my charting, management, and other patients aside for a bit and took the luxury of spending extra time with her, bathing her with my aide, rubbing lotion on her back, turning music on and giving her as much dignity & comfort as she deserved at the end of her life. I watched a beautiful peace come over her and she began smiling, joking with her family, so relieved she didn't have to live in pain much longer.  I watched each of her grandchildren and great grandchildren who could drive come to her bedside to say goodbye.  And I cried. She was sent home with hospice the next day, and I know the family will have grieving in their future, I know she will find peace.

On my lunch break, I called my grandma.  I wanted to hear her voice.

Another patient of mine that day was a 51 year old gentleman who had lost his wife to lung cancer 10 months prior.  She had not smoked a day in her life.  He was still in complete shock and his grief was so fresh.  I had him for two days in a row.  The first day was consumed with logistics of test after test, conveying results and answering questions.  Finally on the afternoon of the second day, all tests had come back negative, and we had a chance to talk.  And talk he did.  I just listened. 

He told me of his wife's life, their children and how they were handling the loss, their business ventures, how she handled all the finances and he was surprised to find accounts he didn't know they had.  He spoke of how diagnosis to the grave was only eight weeks, and he spoke of the pain he felt watching her pass away and how hard her final moments were for him to watch.

But the part that got me was when he said the following:

"Julie, this may sound weird, but sometimes at night I just stand at the top of the stairs in the dark.  I want to feel her presence, smell her, hear something - anything.  So I stand there and wait.  And listen.  But there's been nothing.  Julie, I miss her."

The tears were flowing down both our cheeks (again!  same day! jeesh!).   He had been cleared for discharge by the doctors, diagnosed with just a virus (good news) at 3 that afternoon.  The hospital was not busy that day and I knew he was going home to his 5200 square foot home, alone, still not feeling well.  I told him I could give him another dose of medication, order dinner and rest until my shift was over.  He looked so relieved and said he'd be so grateful if he could do that.

These days teach me so much.  It's my hobby.  And I love it.

Maui with the McDonalds - The Vision

 Bill and Diane talked on the trip about how good things don't just happen - it takes deliberate planning and a purpose.  I imagined them having a vision for this trip since before they had children and have worked very hard and sacrificed for a lot of their lives to make it happen.

They had a scripture for the trip they encouraged us all to memorize: 

Moses 7:18 "And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and of one mind, and dwelt in righteousness and there were no poor among them."

Even the little ones were encouraged to memorize it and rewarded with $2 if they were able to tell Nona and Papa the scripture.  I remember Uncle Billy asking at the end of each day "Were we of one heart?  Were we of one mind?  Did we dwell in righteousness?"  I love that that's what life is about, and that is truly what becoming Zion is about.

 They assigned nightly devotional topics - including becoming one in marriage, in your home, financial oneness, etc.  The girls were in charge of the first FHE and the boys were in charge of the second FHE.  This picture is Uncle Billy leading us in the business of the following day.

Many hours of the day were spent like this - with little ones gathered around Nona, while she read, played with or fed little mouths.

 Evening meals were also assigned based on Costco food items - of which there are endless options, let me tell you!  Bill and Diane did a number of Costco runs to feed the whole crew.  And the food was gourmet!  This was Christmas Eve dinner - Diane and Bill were in charge and did French Dip sandwiches on the Ciabatta rolls.  Oh my!

This was the daddies & uncles doing the activity for their FHE. Horsey races!  I love Kali's face riding Steve - they were out to win!  I love how Mugs had two riders :).

 And when Nona and Papa weren't organizing some logistical miracle this is how you found them.  With a little one in their arms or by their side.  Their love for children is amazing.  The amazing thing is children feel it and respond.  My kids are never better behaved than when they are around Nona and Papa.  I feel this is because they are loved, nurtured, taught, and respected at every step of the way.  There was never a voice raised the entire vacation, never a child disciplined harshly.  And the kids respond to that - they are given an environment where they can thrive.

This picture is so symbolic to me.  We had buried Aunt Diane as a mermaid, and her little granddaughters quickly followed suite, wanting to be just like their Nona.  I love how she is looking over at them with a big smile on her face. I imagine them smiling after a lifetime of diligent hard work, watching their posterity make good choices to grow up to be just like them!