My Baby

Is our baby really two? I just keep saying, "How did I forget what a delightful age this is?" (to which I promptly get the answer: You're not due with the next one in a month for the first time!) Blake has been an absolute delight and blessing in our family - I loved celebrating this little guy's birth. We had the Norris family over and had Baked Ziti and Death by Chocolate Cake which just happens to be Mommy AND Blake's favorite cake.

Opening Grandma and Grandpa's present with a little help from big sister.

And this next one is my favorite face :). I suppose he has an idea of how great money is from his big brother. He opens these cards and says: "Card! Money!"

"Money?"

"Money!"

At two years old:

*Blake still mainly speaks with one word sentences, but very efficient words. Steve took Trenton & Kali to a play date and Blake stayed home with me, looking rather dejected. He asked:

"Trenton?"

"He went to play."

"Kali?"

"She went to play."

He put his little hand on his chest, pouted his little lip and said, "Blake?" Ohhhh.

*Blake likes to know where everyone is asking for everyone's story by name. "Daddy? Work. Trenton? School," etc.

*He asks for five very specific things at bed time & nap time: "Song? Blanky? Fan? Bear? Book?" When I tuck him in he has a scared little look, but clings to his blanky and bear and bravely falls asleep.

*His favorite song is "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam"

*He was a light eater for the first 23 1/2 months of his life but his appetite is incredible lately. He ate 7 bowls of cereal the other morning and 5 servings of Ziti on his birthday!

*He loves when his big sister 'babies' him. Pushes his stroller, puts a blanket on him, changes his (wet only) diaper. He relaxes his body and gets this little content 'being taken care of' smile on his face.

*Loves it when I whistle at him after he gets dressed - he does this little dance and turns in a circle.

*Loves to wear hats

*Is extremely brave & adventurous and has lately taken up jumping from high furniture without a second thought and loves to ride on Daddy's shoulders without hands

*Wrinkles his little nose when he makes a joke.

*Raises his eyebrows so high we think they'll come off his little forehead

*Pouts his lip when he gets sad

*Pours his drinks into his plate of food constantly when we are not looking and throws food, forks, balls, valuables across the room (and has a great arm and impeccable aim) and smiles when we get after him. Although the tears come at time out

*Loves BALLS!

*Has the loudest, lowest voice we've ever heard in a two year old

*Loves to play with his big sister, especially razzling (wrestling) and airplane

*Gives me this look that melts his Mama's heart all day long - I love this boy! We were so prompted to have him when I did NOT feel ready for another one. He is absolute proof that Heavenly Father has the eternal perspective. He has been such a blessing to so many to love and be loved by since John died. Thank goodness he was sent when he was.

My Piano Man

Trenton had his first piano recital this month. I guess it's a landmark date as the first recital/performance of any of our children, the first of many to come. Trenton really seems to enjoy his lessons. He often practices unsolicited and just plays for enjoyment. I just love watching him grow a love for music. He had a blast at the recital - today he said, "I can't wait to have another one of those nights where everyone plays their special, picked out music pieces and plays them. That was awesome!"

I attribute this comment to a few things, mainly his teacher's wisdom:

1. The Ice Cream bar at the end to celebrate. He raved about this for days.

2. She divide her students into two groups, so there were only 7-8 students to sit through. The whole things lasted 45 minutes, perfect for the student's attention span.

3. He played his numbers flawlessly. Thank goodness. The final practice before the recital was rough, to say the least. It went something like this:

Trenton: "Mom, I can't play this 'piano' like it says!!! Our piano won't let me do it!" with tears streaming down his face. Our piano was a generous gift, but is not quite as sensitive to the touch as his teacher's (which cost more than any of her cars!), so when he tries to play quietly the strings are not always hit, therefore no sound is emitted.

Me: "Well, honey maybe you could just practice it mezzo-forte and then at the recital play it quietly."

T: "WHAT?! Are you kidding me? It does not say mezzo-forte here; it says piano! How can I practice it middle when it say SOFT! Do you not know this? Mom!"

M: "Honey you play all the notes perfectly, you can just play it quietly during the recital."

T:"Mom! This is NOT PERFECT! Middle is not perfect! Augh!" At this point writhing on the bench, red faced with tears streaming away.

So you can see why I was a little nervous, to say the least, when his turn at the piano came. But thank goodness for lots of practicing and for a very expensive piano that plays 'piano' at the right level for my little boy. The night was a success.

The Birthday Girl

Our little Kali girl turned 4 years old on New Years Eve. We had two parties for her - a family party attended by Aunt Sandy and Uncle Art and a friend party a couple weeks later after the holidays :).Of course every birthday starts with breakfast in bed! Kali requested pancakes, peaches, sausage, hot cocoa and OJ. She was so excited the night before and in the morning was giggling under the covers awaiting the big moment.

Our friends took us to the Museum of Nature and Science downtown the day of her birthday - one of our favorite places to be. I always get a kick out of this display - your image is captured while walking across a walkway then played over and over. We got 7 of us in this shot (from R to L)- Christi, Trenton, Kali, James, Blake, me and Michael.

That evening Sandy and Art joined us for dinner and a birthday celebration. Kali chose tacos and fruit smoothies for dinner. I've wanted to try out making an ice cream cake & I thought Kali's b-day was the perfect time- it turned out yummy and was pretty simple. Very fun!Her gift from us was a kitchen. This was truly a tender mercy. I had wanted to get Kali a kitchen for her birthday, but they are so darn expensive! Steve's CEO has been so generous to us and given us MANY hand-me-downs. The week before Christmas Steve came home with this - I was thrilled we could give it to Kali for her birthday! She loved it along with her brothers. We have been so blessed by people's generosity.

A couple weeks later we had Kali's Heart Party. She has wanted a ballerina party for months, but in December she announced she wanted a heart party. I asked her why and she replied, "Because I just love everyone! Like my family and Jesus and Heavenly Father! So I want a heart party!" Oh how I love that girl.She invited 4 friends & her brothers and we painted, played games, had dinner and opened gifts. She got her first My Little Pet Shop and My Little Pony. Oh my! Is it that time already?The Party:

Blake, Trenton, Bailey (our neighbor and Kali's little buddy), Kali, Crew, Brooke & Mesia.

A few tidbits about this little 4 year old of ours:

* She will only wear dresses. The pant/dress fight started a year ago; I made her alternate every other day, etc. when I finally realized it doesn't matter. If she wants to wear dresses so be it! We have been blessed with many hand-me-down dresses. I am not extremely worried if something happens to them, so let her wear them. I fought to make her wear tights too, but lately she can't stand the feel of them on her legs. So if it's a blizzard, oh well. She's a little cold. The only bummer is those really cute jeans from Children's Place I actually bought (I rarely buy them clothes thanks to much generosity) are just sitting in her closet :)

*She loves, loves, loves to help. With anything. At anytime. Thank you Heavenly Father.

*She always has to be moving, talking, or playing. It kills her to be quiet in the car so Blake can fall asleep on the way home from dropping off Trenton at school. She squirms like she's going to burst. This has not changed since birth :).

*She has to sleep without a blanket at night so her legs can feel "fresh." She also has to have the hall light on and her door open.

*She can eat as much as her brothers - her nickname is "The Very Hungry Kali-pillar"

*Her favorite foods are macaroni and cheese, cantaloupe, smoothies and anything sweet!

*She is extremely bright in the common sense department and certainly the mastermind of mischievous. She is often heard whispering things to her brothers she knows will get them into trouble. We know the three of them have collaborated on something, because the boys have done the deed and Kali stands in the background grinning away. Thinking she's innocent. It is always her idea. It would not cross Trenton's mind to plot a bad behavior. (but I do like seeing her little complex thoughts)

*She has an incredible memory of events and especially books.

*She is so fast. I'll ask the kids to get ready for the day and Kali's done in about two minutes, dressed with socks and shoes on, room picked up, and helping Blake find clothes, while Trenton is standing in his jammies figuring out the circumference of the moon or something. Once again thank you Heavenly Father.

*She ADORES babies. And asked Steve and I tonight if we were pregnant. If you're wondering the answer is NO. The kids have been asking so much about another baby lately I finally told them we can have another one, but mommy will be very sick for a long time. They will have to help clean & cook and I won't be able to play as much. They have stopped asking :)

* She has a heart of gold and a sensitive little spirit. When she gets in trouble she states, "Mom you don't like me anymore," with great big tears running down her cheeks. Which of course breaks my heart. If only she knew how much I adored her.

*She loves to play games with her brothers and is very patient with her older brother's...shall we say controlling, perfectionist ways. She tries to talk things out with him and show him a more 'flexible' way of thinking.

*She loves to 'razzle' her daddy and get rides on his feet.

*She is very compassionate and in tune to when people need help.

I thank Heavenly Father every day for this ray of sunshine in our home. We had a Mommy-fun day last week and got our hair cut and went out for ice cream. She talks about it all the time. It was delightful spending time with my little girl.

Happy Birthday, sweetheart!

Our Excellent Christmas in Seattle

I've heard it said that the definition of excellence is doing ordinary things in an extraordinary manner. That definition summed up our visit to Seattle - it was in incredible 10 days being with Bill & Diane and the kiddos. They most certainly have a way of turning the ordinary into extraordinary. There were 23 of us under one roof for 10 days and it was DELIGHTFUL!

We started off the week throwing a bridal shower for my friend and old college roommate, Jeanette. She lives in Seattle and got married there and I was thrilled to play a small part in the festivities. There is nothing like keeping up with past friends and college roommates and watching life unfold for each other. JeVonne is so much a part of who I am today and what my life is - I adore her and still look up to her. Diane was gracious enough to let us have the shower at her house even with the crowds coming in that night and the next day. A trip was planned for the boys and the kiddos to Kids Quest which was free on Friday nights. It was one of a whole week's worth of free events Diane had researched. She's so good. We had a crepe bar at the shower and got to meet all of Jeanette's incredible friends.

This was also the day the 24 hour bug started with Trenton.  He threw up and felt miserable for a day and it hit me that night.  Unfortunately it spread to EVERY SINGLE person in the house one by one except Diane, Shane and Kali before the 10 days was over.  Bummer.  But the McDonalds aren't really complainers so everybody just endured a day of it and then got back to life.  Still I felt so guilty as I watched each person come down with it since it started with the Allens!  Darn it!

This is Sommer helping make crepes the night of the shower. I am so grateful for this girl in my life. She has been such a good friend to me - she was the first other "in-law" after me and I've always felt a special place in my heart for her. She is pretty much amazing at everything she does and moves so fast! I just love her.

This is why they call them "grand-mothers." A few of us had gathered around the piano and were singing Christmas songs and the little kiddos didn't quite know what to do. Well Diane whipped out a box of instruments for the kids and they marched and marched around the pool table, just singing away with us. It was so cute.

One of our activities was a hike in Cougar Mountain. It was sooo beautiful! And green. And warm (compared to CO). The kids were in heaven.

We thought these tress looked like something out of a Dr Suess book.

We were blessed to visit another family from our college days - Don &Tara from BYU-Hawaii. We became family on the little island of Oahu - it's awesome to watch our families grow together. Mason and Trenton are the same age and Kennedy and Kali are just a year apart. Their little Ryker missed this shot, but he reminded me so much of Mason as a baby in Hawaii. The kids had a blast playing together and we loved catching up.

We laughed at the similarities of our life experiences. One thing we had in common was how MUCH we enjoyed little Ryker and Blake - loved every single minute with those boys. Was it that as third time mothers we were more relaxed, they are good natured babies, or we just realize how very fast that precious baby stage goes?  Probably a mix of all three.

After a few days, Kali insisted on calling Aunt Diane 'Nona' and Uncle Billy 'Papa' like all the other grandkids.  She is such a little people person and certainly recognizes love when she gets so much of it from those two!  I love how Aunt Diane always takes time to read to our little ones, no matter how busy she is.

Uncle Billy giving a little love to Blake William.  Uncle Bill took Trenton under his wing and Trenton felt like a million bucks.  I'll never forget swimming laps with Trenton on his back across the pool or teaching him how to play foosball out in the garage.  He was his little buddy.  Bill and Diane are some of the hardest workers I know.  Bill comes home from a day at the dental office and plunges into changing diapers, wiping noses, doing dishes without catching his breath.  He stayed up playing with us until 2 or 3 in the morning and then spent 14 hours at church as the bishop of his ward.  And Diane doesn't stop - the only times she puts her feet up is when she's reading to the kiddos.

We went caroling on Christmas Eve and it was a party!

On the way back we took a 'sleigh ride' in Papa's truck and belted out Christmas songs for the neighborhood.

Christmas Eve consisted of the 'flannel board nativity' narrated by Trenton.  As the two and three year olds placed their characters on the flannel board Trenton kept looking down saying, "You've got to be kidding me!  This is a disaster!"  Then he tried to correct it all.  He finished the program by declaring, "That was the most greedy putting up I've ever seen!" (refering to the kids taking characters from each other) and threw down his paper and marched off. Where does the type A come from?  Not me.  Not his dad.

We did a hadbell choir - I LOVE those....maybe we'll put handbells on our Santa list for next year :)  We had an incredible Christmas Eve feast for 23 people with one amazing factor.  Almost no one was in the kitchen before the feast.  Diane had done so much of the cooking beforehand the day of was stress free and enjoyed by all. Ordinary things in an extraordinary way.

And finished up with a grand nativity!  (with a little rigging of the drawing to let Kali be Mary as she'd dreamt about it for about 2 months)

  Us 'kids' all lined up on the stairs for Christmas morning.

And Santa was generous!  We felt so s-p-o-i-l-e-d! All the in-laws got some nice Huskie wear.

Trenton recieved his much anticipated Live Butterfly Pavillion he's wanted since they hatched butterflies in Miss Stacy's preschool. He was a little bummed when I told him he had to wait to grow the butterflies until sping, so we could ethically release them.

Kali got ballerina shoes, but her real delight over Christmas was...

mothering baby Don (8 weeks old) and baby Raquel (4 months old).  She asked to be with those babies from the minute she woke up until she laid her head down at night.  She held, protected, rocked, sang, & cuddled these babies to no end. 

The kids had a blast with cousins, aunts and uncles.  They were all so patient and loving with the kids, and Kali grew especially close to "Baby Don's mom" (as her world revolved around the babies, everyone else was referred to in relation to them of course).  Marielle listened and taught her so patiently as Kali followed her everywhere trying to get a moment with Don.

We had some fantastic tournaments - the brackets included pickle ball, pool, and ping pong.  There was a McDonalds kids vs. Outlaws basketball game- we won (the in-law outlaws)!!!  And of course a night of Whirly Ball.  This game is a blast!  Bumper car basketball with wiffle balls.  Oh my it is fun.  The other night I adored was when Bill and Diane sent the couples to do a session at the temple and braved putting the grandkids to bed together.  There was such a special spirit in the session with all the siblings together.  When we got home Bill was spinning in the kitchen fixing a gourmet seafood feast.  It was incredible.  It felt like heaven on earth!

So yes, we cried all the way to the airport and coming home to this 'quiet' house was hard.  Trenton siad, "Wow, I have to get used to this house again."  It was a delightful Christmas in Seattle!

An Update

I've had many people ask how the husband from the cath lab is doing.  When I came to work Thursday I was thrilled to see I got to take care of him!!!  He had made it through surgery, through 3 days in the ICU, and was now in my hands :).  His wife came in and saw me and screamed and threw her arms around me - "Julie!"  I did the same to her.  It was a sweet reunion.  He had an external pacemaker due to the damage done to his heart and the day I cared for him he got a permanent pacemaker.  4 of his vessels were 98% occluded and when he arrested he had to be shocked 4 times, so I called him the Miracle Man all day.  Unfortunately he felt the last two shocks and is suffering a bit of PTSD, but he and his wife were beyond grateful he was alive.  He had an out of body experience - he was in his 30's standing above his body watching himself be shocked. His wife said - "We brought you back.  They didn't want you up there yet."  He was walking well, talking well and slowly beginning to feel human again.  It was an awesome day.  I love my job.

Be My Life's Companion

(Warning: long post, more of a journal entry, so grab a drink :))

I am at the hospital writing this post from work. I have always felt privledged to be at the most difficult and most joyful crossroads in life of my patients and their families. I so often see the best of human nature come out during difficult situations and my perspective is clearer and my gratitude increased after a day at work. Today pulled on my heartstrings as I watched three couples faced with the prospect of losing a spouse - all in very different ways and different timeframes, yet with the same profoundness that comes from losing a soulmate.

I went down to the cafeteria for breakfast and "Code Blue - Cath Lab" was called. It means a respitory or cardiac arrest has occured - someone has stopped breathing and/or their heart has stopped beating. My stomach always drops when this is called - especially in the Cath Lab where there is an MD with a wire up a vessel in a heart - and the heart doen't like being tickled and stops beating...dang it. The cashier asked how my day was going and I said "great, until I heard that called." The lady across the register looked at me and said, "My husband went to the Cath Lab 1/2 hour ago." Oh boy. The tears started streaming down her face and I took her arm, walked her to a table and called the Cath Lab, sure it could not be her husband. After I convinced the cath Lab that I needed info on the Code Patient ASAP-as I was holding the wife's hand I got to deliver the news - it was him. His heart had stopped during the procedure. She sucked in a deep breath when I told her he was awake and we walked to the ICU. When we got there they paged an anesthesiologist (bad bad sign), then called another "Code Blue - Cath Lab," he was coding again. Really, there is a reason those are supposed to be in C-O-D-E - to avoid the situation of the unknown for the family and she was hearing it play by play - yuck. I turned her over to his (& her) nurse and walked back to my patients. They intubated him and he is in 4 vessel open heart surgery as I write this.

I came back to the floor and our house supervisor was telling us about a critical patient in the ICU. This was a 36 year old woman who had just emergently delivered twins via c-section. Her liver ruptured during the labor because she had high blood pressure and labor and high BP don't mix well at all. She had been in and out of surgery multiple times to stop the bleeding and at this time was open from "sternum to bottom" with her liver being packed in the ICU. She has two other children, these 2 lb twins in the NICU and they don't expect her to make it. They are from India and have no family here. Her husband is working on flying in her mother while taking care of the other two children and staying with his wife as much as possible.

Today I was blessed to care for a 61 year old female who was diagnosed with early onset dementia with Parkinsonian features 7 years ago. Her husband has been her primary caregiver and has managed to care for her at home until this past week. He had someone come in 6 hours a day to help, but even with the assistance it became more than he could handle. I walked into this patient's room this morning and thought I had the wrong room - the lady laying in the bed couldn't have been more than 40 years old and absolutely lit up the room with her smile and demeanor. She was stunningly beautiful with perfect wrinkle free olive skin. I began to talk to her and it quickly became apparent how advanced the dementia was. She incoherantly repeated what I said, nodding and smiling the whole time. I could understand about 1 word out of 5, but was amazed at how she noticed everything that was going on in the room. Her husband called three times that morning to check on her; when he came in I witnessed and heard the rest of the story. Their love story.

I mentioned how beautiful she was and he proceeded to tell me how beautiful she was on the inside. He said everything she touched turned to gold - she could do it all. Her paintings hung in their home, she was an athlete and a natural at every sport she tried, her cooking was no less than gourmet, she had the voice of an angel, she sang and he played the guitar. They served in church together and she worked as the seceratary there. All of this with just a high school education. He couldn't count the number of times whe was out serving someone - cleaning a house or cooking a meal, and he said everyone in their congregation said she was the first person who greeted them and made them feel welcome. I watched therapists, doctors and nursing aides enter the room and they walked out with a joyful, lit up face as they left.  She was still working her magic - she spread the light of Christ to all those she met even without words to communicate.  She was still an incredible woman.  His tears began to flow as he told me of her diagnosis and how hard the first few years were when she understood what was happening to her and what it would entail for him. How sleepless nights with her sobbing contributed to his chronic fatigue syndrome. How the last two weeks had gotten so difficult for him, emotionally and physically. How he was working with a nursing home to transfer her there and called 6 neighbors for help getting her in the car to no avail. The nursing home finally advised him to call an ambulance to take to here to Sky Ridge and how after the ambulance drove away with his love he couldn't stop sobbing. But he told all this to me in the hall away from her ears that probably understand more than we know. He said he'd waited as long as he could to take this next step he'd been dreading. I could only cry with him.

He sat at her bedside and opened Christmas cards with her - they laughed and joked about each one together. He made sure she would be given a snack that night, as "we were late night snackers - usually popcorn. Or homemade cookies - she made the best." I didn't doubt that - of course she did. I thought of the popcorn Steve and I had shared the night before. He ordered her favorite food for dinner - shrimp, garlic pasta and asparagus - and sat by her side cutting it and joyfully feeding each bite to her. I walked in during dinner and was audience to him serenading his girl with tears in his eyes. I vaguely recognized the tune and looked at the TV screen to see the title - "Be My Life's Companion." He knew every word, but the words certainly took on new meaning for me at that moment, as they had for him over the last 7 years.

I started this post yesterday (Friday) and now it is Saturday. For her husband, the past two days have been filled with insurance obstacles, determining level of care and all those other unfair details situations like this entail. The time came today to transfer her to the nursing home. As the medics loaded her on the stretcher and wheeled her out of the room, my nurses aide, her husband and I stood in the empty room together. Then the sobs began. He stepped to the other side of the room and heaved with heartache. I can usually maintain some degree of professional control, but I lost it. I covered my mouth to hide my gasps for air and mouthed to my aide, "I can't do this." Why not? Is it because I have been loved to that depth or because I love that deeply? Either way I felt blessed to have experienced love that would bring that level of heartache. He held me or I held him, crying together and he whispered in my ear, "It wouldn't be so hard if she weren't so wonderful."

I think my nurses aide put it into words for me, "They have completely changed my outlook on life. That is what true love is."

I suppose it was more than just another day at work - if you made it to the end, thanks for letting me share.